My wife and I just got a new refrigerator after our old one suddenly stopped working. I called the repair service right away, but the repair guy said it couldn’t be repaired. He waived his bill and told me to go shopping. I did as he suggested and ordered a new one from a reputable local family-owned appliance store. Due to the shipping schedules it took more than a week for the new refrigerator to be delivered.
Waiting, I made daily trips to the Winn Dixie for ice that I used in a collection of ice chests as I tried to preserve as much food as possible and minimize the waste. I soon found that I enjoyed getting out of the house for my daily trips to the Winn Dixie. We ate a lot of melting frozen food that week, but we also supplemented it with fresh, just purchased, items since we couldn’t store food. The daily shopping and the freedom to pursue whatever appealed to my tastes on a particular day reminded me of my student days living in New York City and I remembered how much I enjoyed that lifestyle.
In modern America refrigerators are seen as “necessities”. Houses and apartments almost always come with them and they’re even in most hotel rooms and office break rooms. Given their ubiquitous presence, it’s easy to conclude that the lack of a refrigerator is a true hardship. But it occurred to me, as I lived in the space between my old and new refrigerators, that throughout most of human history, people lived without refrigerators and didn’t fret about their absence.
Upstate New York Farm
When I was a child, I used to love listening to my grandmother reminisce about her childhood growing up on a farm in upstate New York during the very early years of the 20th century. I was fascinated by her stories about life before cars were common, having a pet lamb named Peter, learning to cook on a wooden cookstove, using an outhouse year round, and pumping water from a well. I remember her telling me about having ice delivered to the house for use in the “icebox”. She never used the word “refrigerator”. It was always an “icebox”. I never got the feeling that she felt those times were unpleasant or that she felt deprived. I think she enjoyed the convenience of modern appliances, but would have been able to live perfectly well without them.
Many artists seem to have found value in reducing life to the basics and foregoing the convenience of what most consider to be necessities. Pete Seeger spent many years living without electricity or plumbing in a log cabin that he built with his wife Toshi. This was long before “off the grid” became a thing. I’ve heard that the home was symbolic of Seeger’s commitment to protecting the environment. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I’ve always imagined that building a log cabin and staying away from a mortgage and utility bills gave Pete Seeger freedom to pursue his art.
During the mid-nineteenth century, Thoreau went to Walden and found his inspiration and clarity in the simplicity of a life alone in the forest. This is all the more impressive when you consider that Thoreau lived in a much simpler time than ours and still found meaning in stripping away the unnecessary.
Replica of Henry David Thoreau s house Walden Pond State Reservation Concord MA Massachusetts
Legendary New York Times fashion photographer Bill Cunningham lived in a tiny apartment without a kitchen or bathroom over Carnegie Hall. In the documentary film about his life, he is quoted as saying “Who the hell wants a kitchen and a bathroom?” Cunningham’s life in the film appears monastic with him sleeping amongst file cabinets full of his work. Cunningham lacked many of the things that we think of as “necessities”, but the film shows a life of deep purpose, passion, and connection. I believe that Cunningham recognized the value in removing distractions from his life.
Kris Kistofferson wrote and sang that “freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose”. For his art Kristofferson went from Rhodes Scholar to spending years working as a janitor while writing songs that are now legendary. The romantic songwriter in me sees truth in his words, but the part of me that has experienced financial insecurity is reluctant to romanticize poverty. On the other hand, my life these days can sometimes feel cluttered with items and commitments that make clear vision a challenge.
Artistically I am drawn towards the stripped down and simple. A single artist with an instrument sharing a song, such as a John Prine ballad with poetic words and three basic chords, can touch me more profoundly than a jazz orchestra with its many layers of complex sounds. However, to be fair, even jazz often strips down chords to fragments that reveal tones that I find mesmerizing and seductive, so I’m often borrowing from jazz in my own music. I also shy away from hard strumming of my guitar and much prefer the gentle sounds of fingerpicking that allow the tone from each individual note to be heard.
Stripping out the unnecessary, even temporarily, can reveal essence in our lives. I was delighted when our bright new shiny refrigerator was delivered, but I’m calmed by knowing that I can get by just fine without it. I wonder how many other such things exist in my life? Maybe they will be revealed with time? I’m going to keep looking.
Orlando is at its best in the late fall and early winter. The oppressive heat and humidity of summer goes away and those of us who live here can emerge from our air conditioned cocoons. One of the fall events that I most look forward to is our annual Pride parade. While much of the world holds its Pride celebration in late June on the official Pride date, late June in Orlando is not a time of year for marching outdoors in parade unless you want to create a mass casualty heat stroke event. So, in Orlando, we do our Pride parade in October – and it’s wonderful!
OOrlando Pride Parade 2025
Everyone comes out to the Orlando Pride parade regardless of what gender we date or are married to, the color of skin, or where we come from. For me, I see it as a celebration of freedom and self expression at the most basic levels of our lives. I also see it as statement of my home town’s commitment to protecting those freedoms. I don’t recall seeing any political signs at the parade. Somehow it feels like it’s bigger than the insane politics of the day and that gives me comfort and hope – which are things that I desperately need these days.
Images of Freedom and Joy!
My camera has always gone with me to the Pride Parade. The vibrant colors and human joy of the event call out to photographed. I hope that my photos record a story that, if someone looks at them decades in the future, they will see that our lives in this place and time are not all heartache and despair. I want to record that, even in hard times when the world seems to have lost its mind, we found moments of happiness and community in each other’s presence.
Music and art have taken me to many far off places!
Occasionally, I hear people speak about a musician or artist being “gifted”. While I wholeheartedly agree that art and music created by a skilled artist can seem magical, I also believe that the magic an artist creates is much more the result of thousands of hours of practice, study, and dedication than from a gift bestowed at birth by the cosmos on a select few.
I recently spent a week in Alaska playing music where I got to play music, learn from, hang out with, and closely watch incredible performers such as Livingston Taylor, Becky Buller, and Keith Yoder. As always happens, I found kinship with the other musicians who understand the compulsion to create art from noise and who obsess about things like tone, rhythm, and melody and who take their art and put it in front of audiences and risking heartbreaking rejection.
Images from my time in Alaska with many great musicians!
My last day in Alaska found me buckled into the right hand seat of a Cessna 185 floatplane lifting off Lake Hood, the world’s busiest seaplane airport. Piloting the aircraft was a new friend name Chris who is a musician who I’d met and played with, shared meals with, and become friends with during the past week. Chris not only has an incredible singing voice, but he’s an experienced bush pilot who took me on an incredible flight into the Alaskan wilderness where we flew next to mountains, in and out of canyons, down the face of glaciers, and low over the tundra. The joy of that a small airplane brings coupled with the incredible scenery on a beautiful day created one of my life’s most magical experiences and it happened because music gave me the opportunity to travel to Alaska and make a new friend.
Back on the ground and waiting for my flight home I found myself reflecting on my week playing music in Alaska, all the friendships I made, and flying with Chris. It all seemed so amazing that I began asking myself “How is this my life? How did it happen that I’ve gotten to have such wonderful experiences and meet such wonderful human beings?
An Amazing Float Plane Adventure!
The only answer that I could come up with is that I was gifted. My gift didn’t arrive at birth, but happened nearly 50 years ago when I was 12 years old and I asked my mother for a guitar. My Mother was a single parent raising two boys on a secretary’s hourly wage. I didn’t have much confidence my wish would be granted so I was surprised when she gifted me a guitar. Unplayable past the third fret with a terrible sound and impossible to tune – it wasn’t a very good guitar, but it was the best my Mother could do. Despite its many faults, it was good enough to get me started and so I loved it. I checked books out from my high school library to learn how to play and spent afternoons in my room learning to play. That guitar started me on a journey that has consumed much of my life and will probably continue as long as I do.
My Mother who purchased me a guitar when I was 12 years old.
My life has been enriched in countless ways by music and art even though I’ve never made much money or won any prestigious awards. In just the past year I’ve played music celebrating my father-in-law’s 95th birthday and my nephew’s marriage. With my guitar in my lap I’ve pulled a chair up next to hospital beds and lifted the spirits of lifelong friends and family members who were fighting serious illnesses. I’ve had strangers who listened to me performing come up to me after a set and tell me that a song that I wrote made them cry or lifted their spirit after a hard day.
Music has gone all over the world with me. I found a guitar hanging on a wall in a remote Arctic Lodge in Svalbard, 600 miles from the North Pole, and played for the other guests. I’ve played in synagogues and churches, in dive bars, house concerts, jam sessions, coffee houses, on festival stages, and campsites. I’ve even played in law school class rooms and at law conferences. I’ve traveled for music events to places that I might never have visited such as Owensboro, Kentucky; Montreal, Canada; Kansas City, Missouri; and Wasilla, Alaska. Through music I have created relationships with other musicians from all over the world.
Inside a “Jam Room” with a bunch of folk musician friends in Montreal Canada, January 2025.
Playing my guitar has carried me through moments of heartbreak such as when a dozen years ago I traveled to Seattle for a consumer law conference. Soon after I arrived, I received call from my house/dog sitter letting me know that he had found one of my beloved dogs dead. I was a thousand miles away from home with a broken heart at a conference where everyone was having a great time. That night we had a reception at a museum where, in the back part, away from the reception, they had an exhibition of a recording studio with instruments to play. I picked up a fender Stratocaster guitar and started playing blues music. People would drift by and sometimes stop and listen to me play, but I stayed there playing that guitar, putting my sorrow into that music, until it was time to leave. It didn’t completely heal my broken heart, but it got me through the evening.
Without question, the most significant gift music brought me happened a few years ago when a social worker asked me to give guitar lessons to a teenaged girl who was in the foster care system. That girl abandoned her guitar lessons when she learned that she had to cut the long fingernails she loves, but she did become my daughter when my wife and I adopted her. She opted for vocal lessons and is a great singer. We still connect through music because she loves to go to my gigs with me.
I don’t believe that I was born with any more artistic talent than anyone else. At most, I’m just wired to enjoy creating and experimenting. But I am certain that I was gifted when my mother gave me that guitar so many decades ago. Her gift to me has grown exponentially over the years as I’ve shared that gift with others. Whatever gift an artist might have can only be experienced to the extent that the gift is shared with others who then give it back to us, enlarged, and in forms that we can never anticipate.
One of my favorite paintings inside the Orlando Museum of Art
I never turn down the chance to visit an art museum. Home or on the road, I go to as many as possible and as often as I can. I love the quiet spaces filled with treasures that range from the beautiful, to the inspiring, to the weird. The cloudy images of impressionist painting are delightful to my eye and captivate my attention so that I let go of whatever concerns I’m carrying inside my head.
Yesterday, I was out running errands that took me past the Orlando Museum of Art. Unable to resist the desire to get out of the Florida sun and into the cool quiet of the galleries, I stopped in for a quick 30-minute visit that stretched to nearly an hour. I have a family membership that gives me free admission whenever I want and I love having the freedom to visit whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Wandering through the galleries I relaxed and my spirit became joyful as I enjoyed the quiet respite. I don’t have an educated eye for art, but I like looking at the paintings and sculptures and trying to figure out what story each piece is trying to convey. For me, all art is rooted in storytelling, so I’m constantly asking myself “What motivated the artist to make this particular piece?”. Abstract modern art often leaves me puzzled and I wonder what “art educated” people see that I don’t, but I don’t let the fact that I don’t connect with everything diminish the joy I find in the pieces that do give me an interesting new view of the world.
I wonder if visual artists such as painters and sculptors are inspired by music the way that my music and writing are inspired by their paintings? I see parallels between the different art forms where visual artists are trying to represent a story or idea visually, and musical artists are trying to do the same with tone and lyrics. Regardless of art form, I think all artists are trying to present a new perspective on something that is familiar to the reader, listener, or viewer.
While not everyone claims the “artist” label, I believe that we all have an inner artist. As human-beings, we are creators and communicators, and we draw inspiration from each other. In my library I have a book of music that was written by prisoners in the Nazi concentration camps, who facing their almost certain deaths, were compelled to create music and then hide that music to be played beyond their lifetimes. Indeed, the creation of art is one of our most potent forms of immortality.
At the Annual Celebration for United Arts of Central Florida
This week, I attended an Annual Celebration for United Arts of Central Florida which is the umbrella arts organization in the Orlando area. They had a band, some dancers, server light food with a bar, and people got up and gave speeches about all the important work being done in the Orlando arts community. Since moving to Orlando about 7 years ago, I have come to appreciate what an excellent arts community we have here. What I didn’t know until one of the speeches is that my hometown funds its local arts programs at a rate that is three times the national average.
Last year, here in Florida, our governor has cancelled all state funding of the arts based upon his claim that the arts money was being used to fund fringe festivals which are really sex parties. I played music at the Orlando Fringe Festival, the nation’s largest, just before the announced cancellation of funding. My wife and daughter, and several friends, were there for my performance. None of us saw any signs of a sex party, and I wasn’t invited to join if there was one going on.
Playing at the 2024 Orlando Fringe Festival
We’re now seeing funding cuts happening on the national level too. Folk Alliance International, the primary organization for folk musicians, just lost all its government funding. The future of many museums, organizations, and artistic programs are in doubt. There’s so much chaos right now that I hardly know what to expect, but I anticipate that history will judge the removal of arts funding as one of the big mistakes of our time. Without art, we lose inspiration and introspection. Without art, we lose the opportunity to record and observe our time and place for future generations. Without art, our humanity is diminished.
I am proud to live in a city that supports its artistic community and I hope that we can all hang on until this dark time has passed and that the museums I love so much will continue to be places where I can find refuge from the difficulties of life and emerge feeling inspired.
2024 was a year of joy and heartache in my life. A review of my life during the past year reveals some big ups and some big downs. There have been lots of changes and transitions. Some I’ve embraced. Others I’ve resisted – but am working on accepting. Maybe 2024 is best described as a year of transitions with endings and new beginnings. Here is my arbitrary year end list of what I will remember from 2024.
Best Overall Change
Fatherhood!
Happy Family!
Not many people get to become a father for the first time at 60 years old, but it happened for me this year. Without question, it’s the highpoint of my year. My wife and I adopted our daughter, Katie, from foster care and I’m over the moon for this kid. I absolutely love being a Dad and she’s got me completely wrapped around her finger. The Judge signed the final adoption order a couple of weeks ago, but she’s been living with us since Summer. It’s been a wonderful journey as I’ve moved from being called “Mr. David” to “Pop” and now to “Dad”.
Most Overdue Change
This summer, after years of contemplating and increasing burnout, I made the decision to step away from the practice of law. I really enjoy being a consumer protection lawyer, but changes in the laws and in judicial philosophy, along with ridiculous waiting times for hearings and trials, have made representation of consumers seeking justice extremely difficult and unprofitable for a solo lawyer in private practice. Also, the transition to virtual law practice that came with the pandemic has taken a lot of the fun and community out of being a lawyer. These days, I mostly sit in my office in front of a screen and am rarely in a room with other people. It’s lonely and it amplifies the worst qualities of the legal profession in a way that has become intolerable for me.
I am currently working out the remaining cases in my inventory and contemplating what is next for me. Stay tuned for further updates.
Best Travel Adventure
This is a difficult category. 2024 was not a big travel year for me, but the travel we did do was wonderful. There was the exceptional travel deal we got for Iceland last January that was just Barbara and me and there was an Adirondack mountain adventure in July with our daughter. Two very different trips, but both were great.
Lebowski Bar and Grill Milkshake
Iceland offered arctic adventure, which I love. The Iceland vibe is so relaxing to me and I enjoyed walking the streets of Reykjavik taking photographs of the snow covered streets and buildings. We really wanted to see the Northern Lights after missing them in Svalbard a few years ago, but the weather didn’t cooperate. Two out of our three reservations for Northern Lights tours were cancelled due to weather and the one night we did get out was very cold and we only got the briefest of glimpses that was visible by our phones, but not the naked eye.
Our CabinPaddleboard Heaven!Saranac LakeAdirondack SceneEarly Morning Fog on Raquette LakeGreat Hiking Discovery!
The Adirondacks are home to me. My first trip to those magic mountains was as a baby and I’ve been returning as much as possible ever since. This year, we returned to the cabin we shared as newlyweds, but we brought Katie along. If you want to bond with a teenager, take them to a place where their phone doesn’t work. During the day we hiked and paddled Saranac Lake and in the evening we played board games in our cabin. One of my favorite moments was when I was out alone on my paddle board and a beaver swam around me before slapping his tail and diving under water. I guess, if I have to pick, I would choose the Adirondack trip as the best of the year.
Best Unexpected Natural Phenomenon
Who could have expected that our fleeing to Tallahassee to escape a hurricane – created by warm tropical waters — that was heading for Orlando would have resulted in our seeing the Northern Lights? Life is can sure surprise you sometimes, but this was a great surprise.
Northern Lights over Lake Jackson in Tallahassee, Florida.
It was a very impromptu sighting. I don’t remember how I got word that the northern lights were visible in Tallahassee, but I heard about it just as we were about to go to bed. Instead, I dragged Barbara out of our hotel room and we drove up to the landing at Lake Jackson where I reasoned we would have a large unobstructed view of the sky. I tried to get Katie to come along, but her teenage self was not motivated for a late night adventure.
At one point, a police car showed up with a young officer illuminating the entire landing with the rack of bright lights on the top of her car. She looked stunned when a crowd of people, who were all old enough to be her parents, admonished her to turn off the lights. I think she was expecting to roust a teenaged beer party and she looked stunned by our scolding. Once she turned the lights off, we showed her what we were all looking at and she was quite intrigued. I think she told her police officer friends because the landing was soon crowded with police cars and cops taking picture of the sky with their phones. It was a cool and joyous event.
Best New Fashion Accessory
This one is easy. I LOVE my new prescription sunglasses. My optometrist suggested that I start wearing sunglasses when I lost most of the vision in my right eye a few months ago. I’ve never been a person who bothered with sunglasses other than when I’m fishing, but she said that they would help me protect the remaining good eye. Given that one good eye is all that stands between me and a bus pass and a cane, I did what she told me. Now, I wish that I’d done this years ago. Bright sunlight is so much gentler and I don’t have to squint when driving into the sun anymore. Plus, I think they’re exceptionally cool looking and I have long been a fan of eye wear fashion.
Best Conference Experience
I’m still feeling blown away by my experiences at the Folk Alliance International Conference in Kansas City that I attended back in February. When I signed up for the conference – which is an industry conference for the folk music community – I wasn’t sure that I would fit in or if I would be seen as a poser. It took about a day and my insecurities were completely gone.
Not only did I hear some great musicians play – I got to play with some of them during the nightly jam sessions. I learned tricks of the trade such as how to plan a tour of Canada (Go north and south, not east and west). I was completely blown away by a session led by Livingston Taylor on stagecraft to the extent that I took an online class and bought his book. I found him to be incredibly insightful and kind both in class and one on one in the hallways.
To get a taste of what this conference was like, I created this video of the experience.
Biggest Personal Challenge
Losing most of the vision in my right eye was unexpected and has been a challenge to adjust to. I have to stay vigilant when driving and walking that I have a blindspot to my right and I need to constantly scan to make up for it. I haven’t had any close calls when driving as I am very careful, but I did come close to getting flattened by a giant pickup truck that was cutting cross-ways through a parking lot and came from my right side where I wasn’t expecting any traffic and didn’t see until it was nearly upon me.
It’s a good thing that I had started slowing down my law practice before the vision loss happened. Working as a litigator isn’t really like television with daily courtroom drama. Most of the time, I work alone in an office reading and writing documents in front of a bank of computer monitors. Since the vision loss in my right eye I don’t have the visual endurance to read and write all day. I can do a few hours at a time, but I need to take breaks and rest my good eye. I’m not as productive as I used to be, although I know more law now than I ever have.
The election of Donald Trump for me was like watching the death of innocence in the United States. It’s not like people who supported Trump didn’t know who he is when they decided to cast their vote for him in both the primary and general elections. After all, we now have experience with his form of insane leadership and we all watched his supporters’ violence at the Capitol. Twice now, a cast of conservative, but not insane, Republican candidates fell like paper dolls in the Republican primaries. I don’t think this election should be viewed as a Democrat-Republican contest, but as a contest between an enlightened Democracy and an Authoritarian government, and Democracy lost. I fear that the road back to Democracy and freedom is going to be long and bloody and is unlikely to happen during my lifetime. I feel very alienated from my homeland these days and am so tired of the nonsense, culture wars, and political bullies. I am also disappointed that the legal system has not been able to defend Democracy and its norms. It’s now in the hands of the poets and artists to preserve the dream until it can awaken again.
Best Book
I was blown away by “The Creative Act: A Way of Being” by Rick Rubin. As I work on connecting more strongly with my inner artist I am trying to grasp what it means to be an “artist”. There is so much food for thought in this book about life and how we exist in the world whether or not we see ourselves as an “artist”. I first listened to this as an audio book, but then went and got a printed copy so that I could study the text on the page and absorb it better.
Biggest Hopes for 2026
I lack any reliable ability to predict what will come into my life in the coming year, but there are many things that I hope for. First and foremost, I hope for good health for me, my family, and our friends. I also hope for strength for those times when life’s inevitable challenges and heartaches arrive. I hope that my career transition from lawyer to artist/writer/musician creates something that benefits the world and that I don’t starve. I am looking forward to continuing the adventure of being a father and a husband. I also hope that life brings me new adventures and opportunities to spend time with family and friends old and new.
I’ve always known that my right eye was lazy, but I never expected that it would quit on me without notice. The idea was so remote from what I considered possible that I didn’t recognize what was happening until I was sitting in the chair at my optometrist’s office taking an eye exam.
I made the appointment for the exam because I’d noticed some subtle changes to my vision that were becoming less subtle. It started when I thought that I needed to clean my glasses several times a day, but could never seem to get them clean. Then I noticed that the lower part of my field of vision for my right eye seemed to be grayed out. I thought this was strange and wondered if this was what a cataract was like. I also noticed that my eyes became tired after a few hours of reading. My work as a lawyer puts me in front of computer monitors all day long reading and drafting documents. I’m used to doing a lot of reading and I can usually go all day without difficulty. Suddenly, my eyes and body were tired after a few hours.
During the eye exam I was stunned when the optometrist asked me to read letters on the eye exam chart, with my left eye covered, the letters looked like smudges against a white backdrop. I couldn’t read any of them. When the optometrist stood in front of me, held up her hand, and asked me how many fingers she was holding up I just saw a flesh colored blur and couldn’t even formulate a guess. All I was seeing through my right eye was light, colors, and vague outlines of objects. I wondered how it could have gotten this bad without me recognizing the vision loss. The answer is that my dominant left eye made up the difference as much as it could, and I’ve always neglected my right eye.
After the initial eye exam, I was moved from room to room where I sat in front of strange looking machines that performed various measures and took images of the inside of my eyes. With one machine they asked me to look at the green plus sign, which was easy to do with my left eye, but I couldn’t make out the green plus sign at all with my right eye. After reviewing the images, the optometrist told me that my optic nerve was swollen, but she didn’t know why. Her normally cheerful voice had a grave tone that matched her grim expression as she explained to me that my eye was most likely permanently damaged. She listed off some possible causes, but when she said “tumor” I heard little else. She told me that she was referring to me to an ophthalmologist and left me alone in the darkened room exam room to contemplate this unexpected change in my life. The word “tumor” kept echoing inside my head and the prospect of losing my life overshadowed my distress over my loss of vision. When the optometrist returned, she told me that she had arranged an appointment for me the next morning at 9:00 am. It was late afternoon, so the morning appointment surprised me, and I was unnerved by the urgency with which things seemed to be unfolding.
I left the optometrist’s office grateful that she said that I could still drive a car due to the strength of my left eye. I called my Mother-in-law because I knew she would be home, and I wanted to talk with someone who I knew had the strength to hear the news and respond with some empathy that wouldn’t degrade into platitudes of sympathy. Our conversation helped calm my nerves and I appreciated her confidence that I could handle what was happening.
At home, I told my wife, Barbara, what happened and asked her to go with me to the ophthalmologist in the morning. I kept thinking about the possibility of a tumor growing inside my head and I wanted her with me. My wife’s presence has always made me feel safe, even though I knew she couldn’t protect me from what might be happening inside my body.
Somewhere, maybe years ago when I was in nursing school, I heard about injecting medicine into the eye with a needle and so I worried about the possibility of needing an injection into my eyeball and cringed at the very idea. I toyed with the idea that blindness might be preferable to an injection in the eye, but wasn’t sure what I would do if was necessary as a lifesaving measure.
That evening, I struggled to sleep. I lay in bed, with my laptop, searching the internet for information on what had happened to my eye. The things that I read all seemed exceptionally unpleasant and my fears worsened. Then, I thought about all the people who had come into my law office having done “legal research” using Google and how it was rare that they found accurate information. I decided to stop researching immediately and get my information from the physician rather than the internet. I’ve stayed away from online medical information ever since.
I also decided that, while losing eyesight in my eye wasn’t what I wanted – it was far better than a brain tumor that might take my life. I wouldn’t hope to restore my vision. Instead, I would hope for an outcome that didn’t put me in the ground early.
Barbara and I were promptly on time for my appointment with the ophthalmologist. As I handed over my insurance card and paid the $150 co-pay, I thought about how fortunate I was to have the good health insurance we get from Barbara’s employer and wondered what would have happened if we were not so fortunate. I felt a pang of guilt as I imagined being turned away for lack of insurance or inability to pay out of pocket.
The ophthalmologist appointment began as a repeat of the optometrist appointment the day before. The same tests were repeated, and another vision exam was conducted with similar results. I kept a lookout for someone coming towards my eye with a needle.
My conversation with the ophthalmologist was similar to the prior day’s conversation. He told me that a blood clot had caused the equivalent of a stroke to my right eye. He said that this can happen for a variety of reasons, but that sometimes there is no evident cause. He sent me for blood tests to see if a cause could be determined, but he suspected that this was just a fluke event. He also reassured me that he saw no evidence of a brain tumor. He prescribed a seven-day course of high dose steroids that he said would reduce the swelling and pressure in my right eye. He explained to me that the damage to my eye is permanent. There might be some slight improvement in my vision as the pressure reduced, but I shouldn’t expect much, if any, noticeable improvement. Lastly, he stressed to me the importance of protecting the vision in my left eye going forward. My visual redundancy was gone.
I left the appointment with a mix of emotions. I was grateful that I didn’t have to contend with a brain tumor or an injection into my eyeball. I was also grateful that, if this had to happen, it happened to my weaker eye and that my strong left eye was spared. I did my best to focus on gratitude, but I have to acknowledge there were feelings of loss and vulnerability with having lost so much vision so quickly.
I wondered what had I done, or failed to do, that brought this on? Did I eat the wrong food? Not exercise enough? Take on too much stress? Should I have been wearing sunglasses more often?
Should I have anticipated this as a possibility? After all, for sixty years my left eye had never complained about doing most of the heavy lifting while my right eye, corrected to 20/40, contributed right side peripheral vision and lessened the workload for fine reading. It wasn’t an equitable division of labor, but it worked fine for a long time. Sure, there were some noticeable deficits such as my poor ability to hit or catch flying baseballs or pursue a career flying airplanes but once I dropped out of Little League and committed to a legal career, it wasn’t a problem.
Instead of relying upon depth perception, I built a life and career steeped in words, writing, and stories. When we moved out of our home in Tallahassee five years ago to relocate to Orlando there were twelve full bookcases in our house. Reading intensely, with my eyes moving rapidly across pages and screens became a central part of my professional and personal life.
It’s rather strange how after delivering a diagnosis of blindness in one eye, not much else happens. No books were recommended to tell me how to live with only one eye. No seeing eye dog. Not a single pamphlet or informational paper was offered. There was no referral to a support group. Just an appointment for a follow up visit to check that the pressure inside my eye was decreased and I was out the door to adjust to my new reality.
In Judaism there is a prayer for healing called the “Misheberach” and in most communities people offer names of people in need of healing before the prayer is said. I thought about this and wasn’t sure if I should add my name to the list for healing. I don’t have a disease that I need healing from and there’s no expectation that my vision will significantly improve in my right eye, so what healing would I be praying for?
I’m not even sure what to call this change in my vision and life. While my vision in my right eye is now so poor that it is medically described as “blind”, I do still see things with my right eye. I can see colors and shapes, but the details are missing. I find it fascinating, and I sometimes play with it by closing my left eye and looking around with my right eye only. The best way I can describe it is that it’s like an old-fashioned television that’s getting a poor signal where you can see parts of images on the screen, but not enough to really see the picture. I always imagined blindness to be darkness, but that’s not it at all for me. I’m happy about this, it’s a lot less frightening to me.
The changes in my life from losing the vision in my right eye are subtle, but significant. My reading endurance is significantly reduced, which is a problem for my career as a litigator. I’ve stopped taking new law cases while I work out my existing inventory. My brain still does law just fine, but without the ability to consume text on screens all day long, I’m working at less than 100%. I’m not too upset about this. I’ve wanted to pivot away from litigation for a while now. This gives me a perfect excuse and kick in the butt to move forward.
The other thing that’s changed is that I have to be very protective of my left eye. Visual redundancy is gone for me. I’ve purchased prescription sunglasses in order to better protect my left eye and am now wondering why I didn’t do this years ago. I used to hate wearing sunglasses, but I love the new prescription lenses. I see great with them, and they have a funky cool musician look that delights me.
The new sunglasses are perfect for sailing!
I do my best to look at this with as much gratitude as possible. After all, I don’t have a disease that will cause me other problems or shorten my life expectancy. It was just a fluke occurrence. Also, it happened in the best way possible by affecting my weak eye and not my strong eye. If this happened to my left eye, my new reality probably wouldn’t involve driving a car and reading would be a challenge.
This is not to say that this has been an easy change or that I haven’t experienced grief or sadness with this change in my body. I feel vulnerable now in a way that I never have before. Mortality seems a lot more real. As a nurse, I know that all this is normal, but I’m much better at being the nurse than the patient.
Lastly, if we run into each other in public or at a social event and you approach me from my right side, I might not see you unless I look directly at you. I promise that I’m not ignoring you and if you’ll just move directly in front of me or offer me a verbal “hello”, I’ll do my best to great you as warmly as possible.
A Ford F-150 pickup truck can do just about anything I need from a vehicle.
Court hearings by Zoom are convenient, but soul sucking.
We never outgrow our need for mentors and trusted advisors.
Adding 5 cloves of garlic to matzah ball soup enhances the flavors.
The artist’s job is to show us the familiar from a new perspective.
Romantic love fades, but friendship endures.
Eventually, our bodies will betray us.
Half-moons and black and white cookies might look similar, but the half-moon is a far better treat.
You know the world has changed when you have to walk past 5 armed guards to enter your synagogue.
Journaling lets us preserve our stories.
Law works to preserve the power structure of a society except in the most egregious cases, and quite often – even then.
Travel trailers have gotten ridiculously large.
It’s important to say “Yes” when opportunity extends an invitation.
Finding great new music to listen to means listening to a lot of not so great new music.
My $6 blue raincoat from Bass Pro Shop is still in great shape after 10 years and going around the world with me.
Taking photographs and shooting video is much easier than processing and editing them to share with others.
I do most of the driving, but my wife is a far better driving instructor than I am.
It’s all about finding balance.
I miss living in a world where it was ok to stop in for an in-person visit with a friend without texting first.
Teenagers and bikers rebel with remarkable conformity to their peers.
Hanging on too long depletes resources and opportunities.
Artists are way out in front of lawyers in the fight for justice.
Good cookware is worth the investment.
The Torah says to welcome and not oppress the stranger 36 times, it only says not to murder twice.
Sleeping late on weekends is a gift to be savored.
The most important asset a lawyer in a small solo practice can have is a partner with a steady job with benefits, or a trust fund.
Human beings are capable of incredible acts of kindness and horrifying acts of cruelty.
I’m still waiting to outgrow video games and cheese pizza.
Thoughtful heresy is necessary.
Make time for friends and family.
Dietary changes are exceptionally difficult.
Take time to listen to the stories older relatives want to share with you.
Being of service to others gives our lives purpose.
Spend your time as carefully as your dollars.
Small-minded people are always worried about who is to blame.
The FAA almost always blames the pilot.
A boat might be a hole in the water you pour money into, but my sailboat is one of the best investments I’ve ever made.
Work from a small carefully curated quality wardrobe.
My dog knows when it’s 9pm and time for dinner and will remind me at 9:02 if I forget.
Bowties are the epitome of cool.
Authenticity is huge for people and organizations.
Playing with spices makes cooking an adventure.
One of the most important moments in a musician’s life is when you stand in front of a crowd and forget the words to a song you’ve played hundreds of times.
Human beings are meant to collaborate.
A dog’s life is far too short.
It’s important to find your tribe.
Most people who visit Orlando never see the city or the many great things about the area that don’t charge for admission.
Beware of cliches and avoid becoming one if at all possible.
Stretching and moderate exercise make a big difference as the years accumulate.
The Federalist Society won and the battle is over for my generation.
Whatever you’re into, hang out with the people who are better than you at it, they’ll bring you up.
Beware of people who use a lot of “therapy speak”.
We’re always too young, or too old, or too something. Just go for it.
Never take anything too seriously that you read in an online list.
2022 passed by me like a speeding freight train. Loud and fast, Arriving and departing without regard. I watched it go by as the earth trembled beneath my feet, threatening, but never delivering, calamity into my life. As 2022 fades into the shadows of history, I want to share some of my memories of the year.
Books
I begin with books because books are precious in my life. So much that’s happened in my life started with me reading something, maybe about an adventure someone had, or a new way someone figured out to do something, and I was changed by what I read.
Fiction
The Speckled Beauty: A Dog and His People – by Rick Bragg
How can I not love a book about a dog that doesn’t end with the dog dying? Rick Bragg is one of my favorite writers and in the Speckled Beauty he delivers so much of what I love about his writing. This book about a stray dog is about so much more than the dog. This is a story about what it means to be a brother, what animals bring to our lives, about forgiveness, and about mortality. Bragg writes about working class American life in a way that’s not judgmental or condescending. He doesn’t write from the perspective of one who escaped working class life, as so many writers do. He doesn’t gloss over or ignore the messy history of American life. Instead, he writes as one who has found pride in the people and places he comes from and who sees beyond the narratives others would impose upon his world. I can’t sing the praises of this book highly enough.
I’ve been listening to, and loving, the wonderful stories shared on the Moth Podcast for years, so it was a no-brainer for me to pick up this wonderful guide to storytelling. This well-written and interesting book provides great insights into what makes up a compelling story and how to captivate listeners and readers with your tales. This should be required reading in all law schools and is a worthy investment of time by anyone who wants to improve their storytelling skills.
Adventure
Hawaii to Palmyra and Back on Sea Dragon
Sea Dragon
Amazing Sailor!
Exploring Palmyra
In February, with COVID lockdowns finally loosening up, I took a direct flight from Orlando to Honolulu, Hawaii. Upon arrival I took another COVID test, which was thankfully negative, and then made my way to a marina where Sea Dragon, a 70 foot steel sailboat was waiting. What lay ahead was an epic sailing adventure crossing 2,000 miles of the Pacific Ocean – south to Palmyra Atoll and back again. I spent hours standing at the helm of a magnificent ship under sail. I experienced the beauty of sunsets and sunrises over a remote empty ocean that stretched to the horizon in every direction. Weeks without seeing another ship or an aircraft, dependent upon the other sailors and our ship to carry me safely across the sea. I visited a remote atoll where we were the first people, other than research scientists to step foot on in more than a year. I snorkeled on some of the most pristine coral reefs left in the world, viewing coral structures fish, and even sharks. Returning home, we battled waves and wind for days, and my endurance was relentlessly tested. I spent time and became connected to crew members who came from 8 different countries and learned that the labels we carry on land fall away as we move out onto the blue water, relying upon each other to make the journey.
Family Event
Norman’s 92nd Birthday Party
David Sigel and Norman Demby
92 Years Young!
Chocolate Cakes
Birthday Wife
Norman and his Grandaughters
Watching my Father-in-law, Norman Demby, walk into his 92nd birthday party was truly a gift. Just a week prior to the birthday party, Norman experienced a sudden change in his health. He landed in the hospital, unable to walk, and was discharged to a nursing home for rehab that was expected to take weeks. He recovered much more quickly than expected and only spent a couple days at the nursing home before they concluded that he was ready to return home. Norman and his friend of many decades, David Sigel, celebrated their birthdays together at the Elyria Country Club. Norman and David have long been active members in their local Jewish community and they have deep ties with the dozens who showed up to celebrate with them. In a world that seems obsessed with celebrity, I think we often overlook the beauty in an ordinary life and all the extraordinary people and events which dance across the stages of our lives.
Professional Conference
NACA Spring Training – Phoenix, Arizona
This Spring I traveled to Phoenix, Arizona to attend the National Association of Consumer Advocates “Spring Training” event. This is the consumer law conference that’s been needed for years. The training focused on trial skills and litigation strategies for helping clients bring consumer protection claims. A great hotel, all my friends were there, and great sessions – what’s not to love? 2022 was the year when professional conferences returned and I would be remiss to not mention the National Consumer Law Center’s Fair Debt Collections Practices Act training that was held in Orlando and provided me with two speaking opportunities. After years off due to COVID, it was wonderful to be back with my fellow consumer rights lawyers.
New Toy
Paddle Board
Come Paddle Board with Me!
if I were to pick a theme for this year it would my year of aspiring physical fitness. Early in the year we purchased a Nordic Track exercise bike that creates these virtual bike rides, which are fun. In the absence of the paddle board, the Nordic Track bike would be my favorite purchase of the year, but the paddle board has become my favorite. I love that it provides both exercise and relaxation. I can paddle out into the middle of one of the many lakes which dot any map of Orlando and simply sit down, away from the noise of life, and observe the nature around me.
Television Series
Extraordinary Attorney Woo
I typically don’t enjoy lawyer or medical shows, but “The Extraordinary Attorney Woo” is so much more than a show about a lawyer. The main character, a young lawyer with autism, is a refreshing delight. All the characters in the show are multidimensional and it is a joy to enter their world for a while. The show is from South Korea and is performed in Korean with English Subtitles. Having the Korean characters speak Korean, rather than overdubbed in English, works to enhance the authenticity of the show. I like it a lot. Add in some very creative and well executed videography, and the result is a show that is unique and refreshing.
Hike
Rocky Mountain National Park
Rocky Mountain Hike Video
In October, I found myself in Estes Park, Colorado attending the Trial Lawyer’s College, a three week intensive litigation training program that was held at the YMCA of the Rockies. The YMCA of the Rockies is about 5 miles away from the closest town and is right next to Rocky Mountain National Park. I didn’t have a car, there was no Uber or Lyft, no public transportation so I was pretty well stuck on the YMCA campus. On one of our few days off, another student, a woman named Mary Pat, asked me if I would accompany her on a hike inside Rocky Mountain National Park. I accepted and am happy that I did. It was a truly magnificent hike. The leaves on the aspen trees were a vibrant yellow that brought magic to the forest. We hiked about 8 miles, to an altitude of over 10,000 feet. As a person who has lived most of his life at sea level, I never adjusted to the altitude in Colorado and I was often breathing heavy even on the flat parts, but the hike rewarded our effort with stunning views of pristine lakes, deep canyons, and majestic mountains.
Best Adventure With Friends
Fishing Weekend Video
I don’t eat much fish, so fishing for me isn’t really about catching fish as much as it’s an excuse to hang out with friends and enjoy the outdoors. Gathering with friends for a weekend of fishing and hanging out was a delightful experience that would have been unimaginable just a year or so earlier. We shared stories, laughs, and good food. Life really doesn’t get much better.
Summary
Overall, 2022 was a big improvement over the past couple of years. I enjoyed more freedom, had some great adventures, and the people and critters in my life made it through relatively unscathed. Selecting what to include in this list was not any easy process. I spent two weeks at Chautauqua with friends, I got to attend the Trial Lawyer’s College where I met some great lawyers, I sailed my boat, reconnected with cousins at my father’s memorial service, went on a couple of great rides along the coast with my Mother, and enjoyed a couple of great meals with my younger brother. I have no idea what might be ahead in 2023, but I hope there are more times with friends, good books, and adventures.
